I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
