So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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