So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Your cock deserves a montage
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
