And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
