GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
