Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
