If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
