My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
