New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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