I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
