Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
