You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
