playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
