The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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