She is in my trunk
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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