oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
