...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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