This girl is more easily done than said...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
