I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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