Dual....:-)
nut hugger
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
