Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
