I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
