Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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