I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
