i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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