We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
