apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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