it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
