Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
