Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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