im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
nutella sex= disaster
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
