Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm just crazy horny about you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
