I cannot find my penis.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
