She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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