I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
