Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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