don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
