friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
