Are we in a gay sports bar?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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