I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
