The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
