I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
