My pussy is not your playground.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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