Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
