If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize