I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
