I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
