I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize