it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
