Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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