Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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