ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize