some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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