What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
