i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
A bitchslap is in order.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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