i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
