What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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