I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
