can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
