My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
