Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ugly people sure do ruin things
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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