dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
