Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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